.Monday, 22 April 2013 ♫ 09:06 ♫
Secrets - One Republic
"I'm gonna give all my secrets away."
So today. Sad uh. Nothing much to comment but I'll do it anyway.
So yesterday or something, I confessed to Greg. Because he was being all Marcus-ish. You know, the way he tends to be when he's mad. It was frustrating. I was breaking down. He didn't know I was crying. He didn't know anything, yet he pretended to know.
He promised me that nothing would change. He promised me that we would remain friends. He lied to me. We saw each other today. He didn't even talk to me. He saw me, we looked into each others' eyes. But he looked away and walked off. I was dumbstruck. I didn't know what to do. I was just...gone. I wanted to smile and wave to him. I felt my heart fall. I felt everything just shatter apart. I couldn't. I just. What IS this feeling? I have no idea myself. Disappointment? Maybe.
Then he just texted me. "Are you upset because of me again?" because of my tweets. Oh. No la. It's just a friend of mine. == Of course it's you. Faggot. Sigh. Or is he just feeling insecure and guilty..? Not that he cares or anything.. right?
"No. It just appears. I see it and I won't ignore it"
Was he angry? He sounded angry. I don't know. I don't understand. I'll never understand at this rate. I'm confused. Sigh.
I thought he cared genuinely. Thought I was his friend. What a liar. I trusted the wrong person. I shouldn't have trusted him. He's just like Alvin. I trusted that bastard, gave him my fucking heart and body, but he ended up leaving me alone. He promised me eternal friendship, but we're on cold shoulders now. Greg and I are going to end up like that. It's all repeating itself. I'm stuck in a fucking loop again. All the fucking time. Why why why!?
Fuck this shit. Fuck you life. I shouldn't have lived. This fucking life is a damned curse. What shit blessing. please. Don't even start on it. I'm convinced enough that all this shit happening again and again is causing my fucking life to be shit. Sorry I trust too much ah. But I can't help it right. I'm gullible. Fuck. Fuck this shit. I give up.
-Alyce
