.Friday, 23 December 2011 ♫ 03:18 ♫
Sometimes I wish. That this world just had you and me. So that all these sins.. I wouldn't have committed them. I would've just loved you normally. Like I always did.
But now? We're in a world full of other people. So many sinners around us. They'd do anything... to fulfill their needs. Me? I'm just lost among the crowd, waiting for you again. I don't know where you went. I won't know. I'll always be the one waiting, quietly. As people just rush past me in this fast-paced world.
Sitting here is lonely, sometimes. It gets really lonely. I get sad when I'm lonely. No one is trying to make me happy. Everywhere, it's always the same. Same old lonely place, same old path.
I'm thinking too much again, aren't I? I don't know. Weird dreams telling me so many things.. It only happens when she is.. acting up again. I don't know anymore. Real life? What is that? I can't tell the difference between reality and dreams anymore. I can't think properly anymore. I want to cry but it's so difficult.
My body aches. My lungs, my liver, stomach, kidneys. Everything. I feel like just killing myself. It'll be so much easier.
But I guess I'm recovering from whatever I suffered from. Now, it's just us. Rui. And me. I miss those times. I shouldn't have read that entry again and hurt you. I'm sorry. You can stop punishing me now.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Let's watch a nice Christmas musical together, alright? It'll be just us. Maybe then, He will help us again. Like He did before. The night is cold...
I want to be clean again.
