.Wednesday, 24 October 2012 ♫ 09:00 ♫
24/10/2012
Okay. So today is Maths Paper 2. Quite okay, overall estimate about 75% ? Hope that's good enough for an A1 ._.
Uhm then. Bad stuff started to happen. Right abdominal pains increased (could be aches or something). But got really upset today, my left lower abdomen started hurting .-. not sure if kidney, or still ache.
But upset! Over what? Guess guess. His phone wallpaper is that of another woman. -insertcommotionhere- damn. Damn it, really. I regret letting him take pictures with me (like camwhore? Lolwhat, yes boys camwhore). For what use? To be left in the depths of nothingness and to be forgotten? I'd rather you just delete those and just tell me, "Hey, I like this other girl. I don't love you anymore." Fuck, then I'll be more than happy to say yes. But don't you dare give me bullshit "I hope we can still be friends." Wtf.
You see. It's like this:
Stranger > Friend > Crush > Love
And what comes after love? Nothing. If love ends, then it just ends. I mean, how can you be friends with someone you once shared intimate/loving/super happy moments with? How can you forget all this? I mean, you have horrendous memory. But what about me? I have the greatest memory (okay, exaggerating.) in dates and occasions. Surely you won't torment me like this? But noooo, you DO torture me like this. Damn, boy, you stupid. You stuck up and selfish. You never think of others. So fuck you ._. Seriously. Fuck man.
fuck. If you were going to treat me this way, don't even touch me in the first place. Don't hold my hand. Don't hug me. Don't kiss me. Don't claim to love me. Stop lying through your teeth. You know how much I hate liars, right? At the very least, just leave me alone to gather my broken pieces together. Don't break them further apart. One day, they'll become dust and I won't be able to pick them up anymore. I won't heal. I'll just, be empty.
I know, i know. It's hard to let go of someone you've spent you life everyday with (life? I meant, 2 years of my life wasted) but I'd rather let it go now than to let this 'lying' affair cheat on me for another -insert number- years. Argh. But. Seriously. Would you rather be empty temporarily or tormented for life? Of course, the former. Duh.
I've decided now. After my exams. I'm going to give it one more month. I won't drink coffee, I won't hurt myself. I won't be so angry. Just one more month as a chance, and then we'll see. If you still insist on treating me like shit, then by all means, I'll dump you on 27 November.
We were so close.
Now we're far apart.
What happened?
-Alice
