.Friday, 26 July 2013 ♫ 11:36 ♫
"She's got everything that I have to live without."
They're together now. I hope she's happy. I hope he's happy. Because I'm not. And never will be.
Because they killed me.
Today I snapped. Why? Because they can take away my happiness, they can take away my grades, they can take away my friends. But they can't take away the only thing that keeps me sane, they can't take away my blades.
I am down. I am sad. I am thrown around like a piece of shit. But yet it really doesn't matter at all. Because it's not like I'm a human with feelings at all. I fucking hate people. They keep making me promises that they can't keep, they keep giving me false hope, they keep playing with me. I don't get it.. Is it really fun? Do I really deserve this? I guess I do.. Since I'm getting it so much.
I guess from now I won't be doing much anymore. Won't be hanging much with the group anymore. I don't need to. I don't want to. If it hurts. It hurts. Why must I continue to pretend that I'm fine with them? I know I'm not. I didn't come into contact with Viv and Sean much when that happened, so I guess I'll do the same here. Just leave em be lol.
Just can't stop feeling so shitty. I don't know why. It's like I've lost all meaning to life :') It doesn't matter anymore.. I'm gone. I'm dead. I'll let Rui take over my thoughts now.
...
Now playing some game with YK, Viv, Ben, Ivan, Edward. It's funny as fuck. I guess it cheered me up somehow.
