.Tuesday, 20 August 2013 ♫ 09:15 ♫
I cut again. Idk. jealous and shit. Blabla. Didn't stop bleeding. My cuts are getting deeper now... And I bought a new blade. Mint greeeeeen.Sigh. Kia Seng follow me on twitter like finally today. Then I said hi la. Then exchanged numbers cos he asked for it. Never thought it was weird. Then he asked if we could go out one day. I asked why. He had bad news to tell me. "..Don't die?" He said he was sorry.
...
What is this shit.
Wow God, thanks for throwing this into my face.
Really needed more shit to crop up.
Really.
... ... Sigh.
Ok now I can't stop crying. I wish no one had to die. I wish I wouldn't see any of my friends die before me. Not that I want them to suffer in this world, but it's just that. I don't want to live without them. I don't want anyone disappearing. Not now. Not while we're all hitting 18 and shit. Not when we've finally been this patient to reach this age. Not after enduring so much to live this long.
That's just cruel. Why is He doing this again? Why must everything and everyone be so fragile? Why can't I keep everyone here, alive and well? Why must everyone be sad, hurt. Is what I'm doing not enough for You? Is what I'm doing not enough of a sacrifice to ensure everyone will live happily?
Don't give me bullshit that the afterlife is better. How do you know. How do you know it won't hurt when he does. How would you fucking know that he won't go through an immense amount of pain to move to the other side? Has no one considered that? It isn't going to be painless. It's going to hurt. I don't want it to hurt for anyone. Why. Why is it so unfair? Why. One by one shit is being thrown into my face. WHY. WHY!? Why must you take all these away from me? Why can't you just keep everything the way it fucking is? Why must you hurt other people. WHY. Leave them alone. ...
-Syaikhah
Looks like period blood hahahaha but it's so runny.
